“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and hope“ ~Jeremiah 29:11
It was a beautiful day. Well, as best as it can be in Rochester, or the rest of the upstate NY, in January. Why Rochester, of all places, and in winter, you may wonder? You see, Rochester holds so many beautiful memories that are close to my heart. Not only that it is the first place where I first arrived and lived here in the US, but also God knew well that He had so many great plans for me there. If you’re new to my blog, my story truly starts in 1994, in Rwanda. During the worst atrocities of the 20th century, I lost my parents and 2 of my siblings. At the age of 13, I survived along my 3 younger siblings who were all under the age of 10. I wrote so many posts about the loss I endured as a young girl, but here is one of my favorites: In a Garden of Fame where their Memories Grow Fonder.
Fast forwarding to 2006, I was very blessed to receive a full scholarship to grad school at Rochester Institute of Technology (RIT) in Rochester. Little did I know then, God Had been preparing incredible people who would literally change my life, for good. In April 2008, I met an amazing lady, Darlene, at a church event in Rochester. We bonded immediately; she had been to Kenya, and deeply loves Africa. She later invited me to her house for the 4th of July event the same year. There, I met a good friend of hers, her name is Glori.
In ways that God alone could orchestrate, Glori, and her husband Bob welcomed me into their home very soon after. We bonded right away; they call me daughter and I call them my mom & dad. Them into my life, I had been given another chance to feel the parental love, on earth, at last. It felt like fairytale. My new parents who are very much close in age with my parents in heaven, welcomed me with open arms, and told me that wherever I’d be on this planet, that their house would be my home. God is good! Here is a post I wrote about my mom in heaven, and my mom in Rochester.
So, it fit so perfectly that we would get married in Rochester. My God brought me there for a reason. It actually was my fiancé’s idea to have our wedding in Rochester, before I could even propose it. I was deeply touched by his caring nature already! Then it was a done deal, no matter how much snow or cold 😀
Words cannot express my gratitude and the amount of love I feel in Rochester. I never doubted God’s grace, but my wedding experience left me in awe of the Lord. My parents who have been no different to me than if they have given birth to me, shocked my fiancé & I with a proposal to pay for our wedding. These aren’t people who did it because they had nothing else to do with their money or because we couldn’t afford it. They are the most generous people I have ever met.
Traditionally in the US, although not officially, the bride & her family assume the responsibility of most of the cost of the wedding, which is the opposite of the custom in Rwanda, where the groom & his family assume the financial burden of the wedding, traditionally. So, the fact that my parents consider me as their daughter, and felt compelled to pay for the wedding still humbles me to this moment and brings tears to my eyes each time I think about it. God alone knows how eternally grateful I am to them both.
On top of this, neither me or my fiancé lived in Rochester to plan for our “destination” wedding. SO, without hesitation, my mom did everything for us: finding the venue, cake caterer, DJ, photographer, florist, everything. I have never been so relaxed in my whole life about something this big. Any planning in the past always fell upon my shoulder, alone. But not this time; I had no worry in the world! Instead, I was busy with my work as usual, as if I didn’t have a wedding coming up. My mom did an amazing job. See for yourself from the pictures.
My fiancé & I wanted a small but cozy wedding celebration. The idea of spending tens of thousands of dollars on a single day has never been a dream of mine. No offense if you think differently. I guess you could say it’s because of the frugal life I had been forced to live in order to support my younger siblings. I am not sure :).
While I come from a culture where you have to invite the whole world around you to your wedding, and learn about most of your guests from videos and pictures after the wedding, I have long resented that idea. Thanks to the western culture, I didn’t have to deal with the cultural impositions. A potluck wedding in my parents’ backyard in the summer or destination wedding in Puerto Vallarta would have been magic but definitely not practical at the moment.
The Rochester’s college town’s Hilton Garden Inn Hotel turned out to be a perfect venue for us. They have a beautiful ballroom that fit our needs. Relatively new, everything looked marvelous. We had an amazing wedding coordinator, Austyn, from Del Monte Weddings and she is the best there is. She worked with my mom on day-to-day planning and coordinating for the event. The decoration was everything I wanted. The Hilton Garden Inn Catering Department & team promised and delivered. The food was absolutely delicious.
Our wedding theme was a shade of green and white (flowers & decor). The Rochester’s Wegmans Floral Department made me a beautiful bouquet that lasted for 3+ weeks. I wanted a natural, earthy look; lots of green leaves surrounding white roses. They did exactly what I had in mind and I was very pleased. Our ceremony arch was top notch. Thanks to my mom’s friend, Anne, who designed it for us, on a very short notice. One thing I realized with my family and friends in Rochester is, don’t ask them for help :D. Here is why: they will not only do it, but also pay for it. The same happened when we asked my dad’s sister Linda to pick up flowers for us. True story. I know the best of people.
My dad walked me down the aisle; what a moment that I’ll forever cherish with humility & gratitude. I have never seen my dad in a suit; he doesn’t like to wear one. But he did it, for me, for my wedding. I teared when I first saw him, he looked amazing. My mom cried the whole time, of course, that’s what moms do :D. I glanced at her, during the ceremony, and I could see her eyes filled with pride.
I know it’s my wedding and I am of course supposed to think everything was top of the line 😀 But my dress was. For my friends who know me well will tell you that this is exactly the kind of wedding dress I had imagined wearing since I was a lot younger envisioning my wedding day. And the most amazing part was, that I bought it online, because I don’t like shopping & trying on so many dresses. My mom and I paid a visit to a David’s Bridal Shop but I wasn’t amused by the experience of trying on 3+ dresses and not liking any of them.
Plus, I was looking for a simple but elegant dress, which I personally didn’t find there. So, I did like I always do, online browsing. While I bought the dress and veil separately from the same place, they surprised me by using the same fabric & patterns for both the veil and dress. I was thrilled and still love my cathedral veil. Of course my parents paid for both the dress and veil as well 😍🙏
Our dark chocolate (yes, dark!) & vanilla with almond frosting cake was the best cake I have ever tasted. I am not really exaggerating or because it was my wedding. I didn’t get a chance to eat it at the wedding, but my beautiful mother saved a piece for my husband and I. It was so delicious. Thanks to my mom for picking it for us, the Italian Savoia Pastry Shoppe for making exactly what we wanted, and for my aunt Arleen for paying for it. I love her. She is very special to me!!
My brother Dillon & cousin Nathan rolled the carpet for me. How special is that! I was deeply touched by my dad’s speech; he started by honoring my parents in heaven, who would have been absolutely proud to witness their little girl tying the knot. His speech, for someone who’s never emotional, reminded me how much I am loved, by God, and His people. The best man & matron of honor’s toasts were touching!
My uncle Steve (mom’s brother in-law) who was our officiant performed a moving ceremony for us. And him being family meant the world to us. Our DJ Mr. Bookhart & our photographer Will of William D’Ovidio Photography made our day special. Thanks to Linda at Bridal Biz Beauty for my makeup & making me feel beautiful, Ines of the Casa de Hair, Rochester for doing my hair so beautifully and exactly the way I wanted, and on short notice.
This was the hard part to find good beauty shops while being remote. The Knot website is fantastic for recommendations on credible vendors. Also, our dance instructor out in Minneapolis, MN. Erika at the Flying Pig Dance Studio turned us into real dancers. Well, at least we didn’t fall ;). Why MN? Because we are world travelers 🙂
I loved seeing our friends from close and afar. There is nothing like feeling loved. While there are a few special and important people who couldn’t make it to our wedding, thankfully we had a live stream going for them which was very meaningful to us. My matron of honor, the most amazing friend a girl could ever ask for, Ginger, has been with me through thick and thin. She and her husband did as if it was their own wedding. My family and friends, they made my dream come true. I cannot thank them enough.
While everything was beautiful & elegantly cozy, my husband’s wedding vows to me were the top highlight of our wedding day. I was convinced that I wrote the best ones and that I was going to finally make him cry (note to self: don’t brag too fast :D). I meant it, because truthfully, it was all about this incredible man God had been preparing for me!
While I still love what I wrote about and for him, he absolutely amazed me, and everyone in attendance. This is a caliber of a man I get to call mine, someone I asked of the Lord. He’s been someone who would never let me go from the very first time we met, and I too silently praised God for bringing such an amazing guy into my life. He is the man whose rib I was made into (Genesis 2:21-23)
His love for God, his witty personality, knowledge and open mindedness, world travel experience, exposure to other cultures, living in other countries for years, speaking a second language beyond English (yes, bi-lingual, and so un-American :D), his understanding of my personal life & loss I endured at the young age, my siblings I call my kids, his love & support of my ambitions, dreams and hopes, work ethic, not to mention handsome :), mature and so many other things.
God Has been great to us, and we are in awe of Him. As we embark in this new journey together, we pray and ask the Lord that He will go before us and be the center of our marriage, now and always. Blessed be His Holy Name!
“I will praise You, O Lord, with my whole heart; I will tell of all Your marvelous works.” Psalm 9: 1