And That Is a Wrap! Goodbye 2020!!

Just like any other year, my husband & I spent Christmas 2019 with my family upstate NY & New Year’s with his parents in the midwest! We usually rotate holidays with our families every year, which works perfectly for us. While neither of us is known for New Year’s resolutions & such, still, we felt hopeful & looked forward to 2020, and our 1st wedding anniversary celebration which was around the corner (mid-January). We celebrated it in Palm Springs, CA, with a plan to do a proper celebration the following month in Hawai’i. Palm Springs was a lot of fun, and definitely much warmer than our northern neck of the woods, especially in January!

As we had planned, in late February, we were finally on our way to Hawai’i. It was an exciting moment especially for me since it was my first time in HI. We first touched down at the Honolulu International Airport, on the main island of Oahu, to reach our connection via Hawaiian Airlines. The Honolulu airport & its surrounding reminded me so much about Rwanda’s savannah in the Eastern Province! Shortly after, we were back up and on our way to the beautiful Island of Kaua’i, which is the most northwestern part of the Hawaiian archipelago, and landed at the Lihue Airport.

What beautiful & breathtaking views, water, mountains! It was just as I had imagined, and more. We stayed in the northern part of the island, Princeville. And of course we did as any tourist would do: we drove around the entire island (from Princeville to the north western part, Waimea), visited water falls, Lighthouses, Canyons, hiked rainforests, spent most time at the beaches, of which Kaua’i has in abundance, and not crowded at all. It was a breath of fresh air.

While there, the temperatures were between 70-80s which was fantastic, especially for a tropical weather girl like me. The southwestern part of the Island, Waimea, known for its black sand beaches, was especially warmer and less windy from my experience. The sun tan at the beach there was just what we needed!

As our stay was coming to the end, unfortunately, the pandemic was also making its headway & getting worse by the minute. Looking back, we wished we had extended our stay there and be stranded in a sunny weather instead. Shortly after we arrived back to the mainland US, the lockdown went into effect nationwide. Unbeknownst to most, this was the beginning of the longest, probably most depressing period most people have ever had to go through.

Princeville RESORT, Kaua’i

So when I say goodbye to 2020, I am pretty sure I am speaking on behalf of many people! To say that 2020 has brought so much hardship is an understatement! Although the impact varies depending on individual situation pre-covid, but the most vulnerable in the world (economically, financially etc.) were hit the worst. We have seen it with the street children we work with through Rising Above the Storms in Rwanda; the loss of the source of income & hunger was even severe for their families that were already fragile!

UNICEF says it best: “this is a universal crisis and, for some children, the impact will be lifelong; without urgent action, this health crisis risks becoming a child-rights crisis“.

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BEAUTIFUL KIGALI, THE CAPITAL OF RWANDA, NIGHTTIME!

While there are probably way too many posts about how depressing 2020 has been, I wanted to take this opportunity to highlight things I am grateful for, and hopefully spread some positive encouragement in a world that I believe needs it so desperately.

As we bit 2020 adieu, I am very thankful to God Almighty for:

– Health & Family

As I type this, there has been more than 83 million cases worldwide & over 1.8 million lives gone due to the COVID-19 pandemic. Many people have lost jobs, the world economy is in shambles. Today, being safe and healthy is a something I never want to take for granted, even after this pandemic is long gone. I am grateful to God for my families in the US & Rwanda who have been incredible warriors through this. My amazing husband who’s a gift from heaven and my best friend! I cannot begin to imagine how hard this must have been for people who live by themselves! I thank God for my job, and the flexibility to do it & Cisco I work for! I say a prayer for everyone who is in any kind of need, and that God will use me anyway He choses!

– A much Needed Trip to Hawai’i

While my husband & I wished we had stayed in the sunny Hawai’i longer instead of returning to mainland US & be in a lockdown here, I am grateful for our vacation there, our experience, warm weather, good food, beautiful views, beaches and hiking trails. It was definitely a perfect timing, because soon after, places were no longer accepting visitors.

– My nonprofit RAS’ Donors & Supporters

I cannot imagine where Rising Above the Storms would be today if it were not for the generosity of so many people who have chosen to believe in my vision & mission to change lives of the most vulnerable children over the years. This year was no exception; despite the hardship endured this year by way too many people, donations have been still coming, and we have been able to keep up with our children’s needs and go beyond to support their families during the lockdown. THANK YOU SO MUCH!

Moreover, our Rwanda employees were able to receive their salaries during the shutdown, which makes me forever grateful. As we change lives of the most vulnerable children, my hope and prayer is that families & communities our staff are part of are also positively impacted. That’s my dream!

– Our Board & Teams

I’ve been blessed to be surrounded by incredible people who have rolled up their sleeves this year to plow through uncertainties to keep RAS up and running. I couldn’t find a photo that has everyone in it (and looks great) but my gratitude to each and everyone of them is immeasurable. 2020 has been surprisingly the most productive year we’ve had at RAS to date. These powerful women (mostly Cisco employees; we have couple of men too, but they couldn’t make this call) have achieved more than I could imagine: from communications, fundraising, finances, strategies, social media, you name it! I am indebted to them!

Some of the most incredible people who are behind everything good we have been doing!

– A Trip to Rwanda

What an incredible opportunity to get to travel to Rwanda in October this year! I guess it might come as a shock since I travel there at least once or twice a year; but this trip was extra special for so many reasons. As a frequent traveler, normally a trip like this gets me excited and is always almost predictable. However, for the first time, this was not the case. Due to COVID-19, I was very nervous about the unknowns.

Our Library at the Learning Center in Rwanda

I had so many questions that I didn’t have answers to prior to taking this journey: do I need to stay awake for 17 hours? Can I sleep with a mask on? Are the airplanes safe to be on for that long during a pandemic? How about connecting via Europe that was going through the second wave? Do we get fed on the plane as usual? Will the trip get canceled?

I’d assume that a lot of people have had these questions and more, or are afraid to fly all together. The good news is that you can safely travel during the pandemic. I am not going into details with what the airlines are doing to keep passengers safe, but I think they are doing everything they can to keep passengers safe. My husband and I certainly felt comfortable. Delta has been my favorite airline for the past 3-4 years, and they truly delivered on their promise during this trip.

having a conversation with our team in Rwanda

Landing in Rwanda, it was impressive to see how organized the airport was at handling arriving passengers and prioritizing everyone’s safety. At the time, Rwanda required a negative COVID-19 test valid for 5 days prior to arriving in the country. Moreover, arriving passengers had to be quarantined (at a hotel) upon arrival, and get tested once again. Once the results were in and negative, then you were free to go. Luckily, there were several hotels to pick from to self-quarantine in, including 5-star hotels, of course at the traveler’s expense. I was amazed by how quickly we got our results back (less than 12 hours) and were able to leave our hotel and see my family. The whole process from landing to leaving the hotel was smooth and uneventful.

Navigating the city of Kigali was made easier by restrictions that were put in place; hand washing and temperature check at every entrance, masks and physical distancing enforced wherever possible. This truly made the experience more comfortable; my husband and I even managed to see the kids at our Center, and visited with the staff. I treasured every moment; I didn’t think it was going to be possible to see them. I deeply appreciated our staff and kids’ resiliency on another level.

just beautiful. Downtown Kigali at night!

I have always been grateful of how far along our kids have come, and admired their strength after all they have gone through in their young lives; however, getting to see them after many months of lockdown and learning how that has impacted them really gave me a new level of gratitude. Our kids were allowed to return to the Center for the first time on October 5th since March. That’s almost 8 months. I had a privilege to have a 1:1 conversation with a few of them.

The common concern they all had was being home for a long time without interacting with their friends, hunger, missing school. They were very excited to be back to the Center where they can eat, play, see their friends and get help going through school work. This experience was a personal reminder of the work we do there and the courage of our staff. I saw joy and hope in their innocent eyes; I saw excitement about the future. If there has ever been any setback about the progress we’ve made, their joy gave me strength to keep marching forward.

I also had an amazing conversation with our staff; they shared how their main priority in coming months would be to figure out ways to help our kids catch up to their peers as they started school this November, and beyond. We talked about their experience during the lockdown. They shared how they did their best to stay in touch with the children virtually, which was difficult because of technology access for those families.

I also learned that while our staff members were blessed to be getting their salaries during the lockdown, they didn’t forget those who were not as fortunate. One staff member mentioned how he and his wife were able to buy food supplies for 4 different families at different times during the lockdown. I was deeply touched by this selfless act of kindness. They shared how grateful they are to be in these kids’ lives; they emphasized on how they love their job, our kids & are grateful to get paid to do what they enjoy doing the most.

Back in April, our Rwanda team also did a food distribution in April where they fed about 100 household members of our kids. The process was tedious because of the restrictions of the lockdown; however, parents were very touched by the gesture. And more importantly, parents and local authorities shared how this proved to them our commitment not only to kids, but their families and Rwandan communities. Since then, the local administration has a newfound appreciation of the work we do there. I was deeply moved!

I left energized and encouraged by the visit. If nothing else, I believe that the pandemic has made us even more stronger.

I look forward to 2021 with hope!

Blessings to you and all your loved ones 💕💕

Expatriate Moments of Brevity: Life Abroad!

When you relocate to a new country, there are many inevitable awkward moments you run into, whether you’re extremely cautious or simply go with the flow. I’m not even talking about the food where it is apparently normal to add sugar to baked beans or meat, or eat jello with turkey.

It’s not about eating raw fish or crunchy little lifeless animals from the water! And I won’t go into details about a story of someone I know who yanked treats from kids as they rang the door bell for tricks or treats on Halloween. This new comer thought kids were handing out candies!

In the fall of 2006, I said goodbye to my dearest siblings and many friends who gathered at Kigali International Airport in Rwanda to send me off halfway across the globe. I was very excited about the opportunity to continue my studies and experience a new culture. My next stop? United States. The next paragraphs are my observations and experience!

With my bro and sisters on my brother’s Rwandan Traditional Wedding Day!

  • Comparison & Conversion

When you arrive in a new country for the first time, in order to adjust, you start first by comparing everything around you to what you were used to in your home country. You compare buildings, cars, people, dress fashions, you name it.

When you make a trip to the store to buy milk and realize that it’s sold in gallons, yes a gallon (what is that?), for $3.21, you immediately convert it in your own currency to see how much that would be, for example, in Rwandan Francs. Oh, before you figure this out, you first wonder what is a gallon compared to liters etc. Then you do the math to make a decision if your purchase is ideal.

In my very first effort to get my hair done when I arrived in the US, two friends (white and Asian) took me to the best place they knew. The stylist lady who was either white or Latina (definitely not black) assured me that she knew well how to work with black hair. I was ecstatic! The whole process lasted about 30 min. I was very impressed because it normally takes no less than an hour in Rwanda.

To my dismay, not only did my hairdo look as if they didn’t do anything to the hair, but it also cost me around $80. The hairstyle I was looking to get would normally have cost me around $10 in Rwanda. That was the last time I tried…well, until an African friend took me to an African beauty salon where someone finally knew what she was doing!

  • Translation

Oh, yes! You definitely think in Kinyarwanda at first (or whichever your native language is) and translate into English before responding to someone who just asked you what courses you are taking or your major at RIT or how long you have been in the country or simply what you do for a living.

Researchers say that you will know that you are comfortable in a new language when you no longer need to translate in your head from your native language to your new one before you speak or answer a question. Caution: At some point, you may become too comfortable in your new language that you might need to translate back into your native language before you talk; isn’t that funny but true?

Few months ago at my brother’s wedding, I vowed to myself that I’d make an effort to use Kinyarwanda only during my 5 minutes speech. Howbeit, in front of our honored hundreds of guests, as I searched in despair how to say “on behalf of” in Kinyarwanda, I feigned a smile as I apologized to the audience because I had no other word to replace it in order to complete my phrase. I indeed felt betrayed by the language I have spoken my whole life 😦

  • Moments of Boldness

As funny as this may sound, it is a moment of truth! Most likely, casual, humorous conversations and jokes will be different in your home country from your new home. For example, in Rwanda, weight issues are not only an icebreaker to start common daily conversation but also a way to let people know that you pay attention to their size.

People are not afraid to remind you that you’re fat and that you should probably start exercising. This is not a private conversation. It’s in the open for everyone around you to hear. Or perhaps that you are too thin and someone fears you may not have enough food in your home.

A woman carrying a sac on her head!

So, take a person from that context and into the United States. Also note that the only English words this brave person knows how to say related to weight is skinny and fat. Well, you can connect the dots. This creates an awkward moment when you tell someone in the US, especially women, that they are fat (they didn’t just “put on a few extra pounds” because you probably have never heard of such an expression).

I think that the cultural influence, in addition to the language barrier, may bring embarrassing moments for newcomers!

I am normally very careful in what I say to people because I am afraid to hurt their feelings, but once a dear friend poured her feelings out to me and some friends. I went on to tell her it was a first world problem. YEP! I sure did! Back then, it seemed like an innocent comment to go along with our fun conversation. Now I know that it was not the case.

Oh! Did I also mention that I once told a friend I had known for a few years that it was probably about time he started thinking about growing up, because after all, it was a new year and his sense of humor wasn’t amusing anymore! Who in the right mind says that? Fortunately, this gentleman found it funny and laughed about it! A word of advice: DON’T DO IT!

      • Weird obsessions

When you move to another country, at first you tend to stick to what looks familiar. For example, when you spot at the grocery store the powdered milk NIDO used a lot in Africa for tea, you want to jump with excitement for all shoppers to know that you have found a hidden gem in your new home. Similarly, when you go back to visit your country, everything looks so amazing that you want to snap photos of women carrying baskets on their heads or babies on their backs, in the streets, or just a typical traffic jam in the city.

You cherish everything that keeps you close to things you grew up seeing. You want to take everything back with you when you return to your new home…food, clothes, traditional decorations, everything. Likewise, if you could take everything you started liking in your new home on the trip with you, you would just do it. In the end, sometimes people will notice some obsessions that seem all too unfamiliar to both cultures.

You see the first picture with my siblings where my sisters and I are wearing Rwandan women traditional outfits? Those outfits have been around for ages. They’re basically worn by women on special occasions in Rwanda. Married women can own and wear them anytime (for parties etc.) but single women mostly rent them for special occasions.

Now, I am not entirely sure why I am beyond excited to own not one, but two of those, for myself, which are the gifts my brother and his wife gave to me on their wedding day. I cannot wait to wrap one of them around me and walk in it. And why am I obsessed with this? I have no clue!

Speaking of obsessions. I love everything about this photo. Why? Every detail in the background!

      • Where are you from?

This one will probably follow you always especially if you move to a new country at an older age. Your accent will always be such a giveaway. As soon as you open your mouth, at least in the United States, people are eager to ask where you’re from. Some people are funny enough to conclude that every black person with an accent must definitely be from Jamaica, and that’s probably one of the states of Africa, because after all, Africa is one country with many states just like Unites States.

      • Challenges on both ends

As harsh as it sounds, when you go back and forth between the two cultures, you will definitely realize that you blend in neither culture. You just choose what to adapt to and what to ignore. For example, time is very important in western countries, while it doesn’t mean anything in Africa at least. When in Africa, I often find myself annoyed by people who are late for meetings, especially when they don’t call to let me know that something came up.

When that happens, people around me wonder if I just fell from another planet because being late is normal in Rwanda. Similarly, as much as I try very hard, after several years, I still struggle to find the food that I like or adjust to the cold/hot weather in the US. Rwanda is a tropical country and the weather is close to perfection: (high 50s – low 90s) all year around.

      • Language butchering

In a country that speaks a different language than yours, you will realize that when you don’t pronounce their language the same way, you may be asked to repeat. Shortly after I arrived in the United States for the first time, I asked someone a question that had “learning” in it but they definitely heard “running“. Only then I realized that, “R” is pronounced differently from “L” in English while in Kinyarwanda they are identical.

Downtown Kigali in the distance on the hilltop!

Downtown Kigali in the distance on the hilltop!

      • Lagging behind

If you visit your home country, no matter how often you do that, you will realize that you live in the past (or at least the last time you were there). You will be amazed by how much everything has changed: new fashions, buildings, roads, sayings, new obsessions. Even if little has changed, it’s a big deal to you how everything looks. The excitement may plunge you into long explanations, only to realize that you sound like you are speaking a foreign language to your own people.

Believe me! Your efforts to describe that new beautiful tall building they just built where the bus station used to be won’t seize the moment for those who have seen the building under construction the year before. The breathtaking view from the hill where you can see most of the downtown Kigali at night with its beautiful lights? It’s just in your head, no one else finds it that stunning! It’s just life, you go into a series of emotions, whether young or older.

      • Embracing the new culture

This is very important and the final phase in the process of adjusting to the new culture and definitely a big deal if you want to enjoy your expatriate life. Some people tend to stick only around the community of people from their home countries. This one may render you bitter toward the new culture when you’re faced with a situation outside your community.

I once met a man from Rwanda who had been living in the US for 12 years at the time, but this man couldn’t speak English for a whole minute, literally. I was heartbroken! Take time to get out of your comfort zone and try new things. Be patient, humble and respectful. Explore, learn, master the language, and adapt to the culture. This will definitely make your life easier.

How about you? What has been your experience in a foreign country?