The Truth Behind My Smile

I will tell of your name to my brothers; in the midst of the congregation I will praise you.” Psalm 22:22

Thank you for stopping by. God has put something on my heart that I hope and pray will encourage you. Even if everything else I write here is forgotten, I hope this post forever remains a testimony of my gratitude to God Above ALL.

Bene

It is doubtful whether God can use a man greatly, until first He wounds him deeply.”
– A.W. Tozer

The reason that I am deeply rooted in God does not revolve around all the great opportunities and choices the first world countries have to offer. It is not measured by the credibility of schools I have had the privilege to attend, a job I always dreamed of, the greatest company I work for, the wonderful church I am honored to be part of or things that I achieved in my life. And it’s definitely not because I have nothing better to do.

My life song is about the God who picked me up right after I lost parents at a very young age, hopeless and homeless. It is about the Most High, the Father of the Fatherless who never left me alone. He was there as I juggled and learned what it was like to figure out life all alone when no one else cared. He is the strength behind my growing up in Rwanda. Through struggles of all kinds, He alone kept me going. He is the Comforter who walked with me through the days I spent in the college campus clinic. Attached to an IV, I could not attend most of my classes because of stomach problems resulting from the genocide against the Tutsi aftermath. Yet I graduated with best grades.

Most of the time, materialistically I had nothing, but Jesus shined through every little thing I possessed to make me look like I was just a regular happy college girl. When I didn’t have food for a couple of days, my physical appearance didn’t change a bit to reflect the starvation. It is God who provided for my siblings when I was a student and didn’t have any income. He was right on time and didn’t let them drop out of school or starve. He was our shelter when we’d have been homeless. It is God who patted my back, and with a soothing voice told me that I was not alone as I prepared for the state exam at the end of high school to qualify for college, when the only door to my promising future seemed to be closing.

He raises up the poor from the dust; he lifts the needy from the ash heap to make them sit with princes and inherit a seat of honor.” 1 Samuel 2: 8

I have done nothing to deserve to make it to this day. My parents and many other nice people didn’t make it to see what I see today: It is GOD’S GRACE, LOVE & MERCY. He is my only REFUGE. “For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate me from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:38-39

My faith in Christ my Savior, is beyond the shadow of doubt. It has been perfected by the pain, suffering, loss, poverty, disappointment, shame. If there is one thing I am so certain about, it is the hands of the TRUE GOD on me. I am very grateful that I don’t have a “to-do list” to be accepted by the Lord. Jesus endured it all, on the cross, on my behalf. And GOD accepts me just the way I am. He Has won my full attention and captured my heart, for all my days.  To this day, what He has done in me is far ENOUGH to ensure me that every promise He made will be fulfilled, in His timing. Because God is not a human being that He should lie. However long it takes, I will wait. Yes, because the one who started the good work in me is capable of bringing it to completion. Until that day comes, I will still pray, love, hope, trust, seek and rely on Him.

This is what keeps me going, even on the worst of my days, when fear cripples me. I don’t have it all figured, but I have GOD.

What is the reason behind your courage, testimony, brevity? If everything else fades, where is your safe refuge? If it’s the true God, cling to Him, you will be truly SAFE in His arms when trials and tribulations come.

God bless you.

God is not “Fair”. He is JUST!

By definition, being fair means being free from bias, dishonesty, or injustice. A fair decision, a fair judge—something done properly under the rules. When we receive what we rightly deserve in a good way, we call it fairness. Ideally, systems of justice should be fair.

But God is not “fair”—at least not by human standards. Fairness, as we define it, is shaped by our perspective, not His. Take Psalm 103:10 (NKJV): “He has not dealt with us according to our sins, nor punished us according to our iniquities.” That’s not fairness—it’s mercy. And if you keep reading through verse 14, mercy, not fairness, becomes the focus.

If God was fair in the way we expect, tragedies wouldn’t happen. He doesn’t cause them, yet He allows them. And yes, He has the power to stop them. But we often try to make sense of pain through our human lens of what is “right” or “fair”—which doesn’t always align with God’s greater purpose.

Consider these examples:

The tornado that devastated Moore, Oklahoma was heartbreaking. The emotional reunions of parents and their children who survived the destruction of two elementary schools were moving. Meanwhile, other families waited in anguish for news of loved ones—some with devastating outcomes.

Or the collapsing garment factory in Bangladesh, where workers earning meager wages died as the death toll rose by the minute—an unfathomable loss.

Then there’s the 2010 earthquake in Haiti that reduced its capital Port-au-Prince to rubble. More than 200,000 lives were lost, and the nation suffered immense, lasting damage. I vividly remember waiting to hear if my dear grad school friend, Katarina, her husband, and their infant son had survived. By God’s grace, they did, though they lost everything they owned in Port-au-Prince. Their survival still feels miraculous.

And of course, the 1994 genocide against the Tutsi in Rwanda—one of the most horrific atrocities of the 20th century. In just 100 days, over a million Tutsi were killed. Roméo Dallaire, the Canadian UN Force Commander at the time, shared his firsthand account in “Shake Hands with the Devil“—a book I strongly recommend.

These are only a few examples. Sadly, tragedies continue even as I write this. Most often, the victims have nothing to do with the cause of their suffering. But the point is not to measure who has suffered the most or who deserves the most attention. It’s about what we learn in the aftermath—and how we find God’s power and presence in the middle of the storm.

To our human minds, it feels deeply unfair when innocent people suffer, when children die, or when bad things happen to good people while bad people thrive. In those moments, we cry out, “Where is God?” In Rwanda, many later echoed the haunting belief that the “God of Rwanda” went silent starting April 7, 1994.

Sometimes, we even try to rewrite God’s plans: “If only God had been there…” But we’re not alone in that thinking. When Jesus arrived after Lazarus had died, Martha said, “Lord, if You had been here, my brother would not have died.” (John 11:21). Yet Jesus came not just to heal—but to raise Lazarus, so that God’s glory would be revealed. A healing would have been amazing. But resurrection? That was undeniable.

The truth is, every person—no matter how composed they may seem—faces their own struggles. We all experience hardship, but the good news is found in 1 Corinthians 10:13: “No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.”

So no, God is not “fair” by our limited standards—but He is Just. He is omnipresent, omnipotent, and omniscient. It’s not that people or places are cursed and “deserve” tragedy. As Matthew 5:45 reminds us, “For He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.”

God is our Healer, Counselor, Father to the fatherless—overflowing with mercy and grace. But His schedule, His wisdom, His judgment—none of it is reasonable by our terms. His ways are not our ways. His thoughts are far above our thoughts. You can’t advise Him or question His will. He does all things according to His purpose—on earth as in heaven.

God does not cause earthquakes, hurricanes, or tornadoes—but He is there in the midst of them. And when we hear the stories of those who survive against all odds, we know it’s not by their strength—but by His grace.

So trust Him—even when the world falls apart. You are safe in His arms.

Mourn with those who mourn. Rejoice with those who rejoice. Cherish every day. Offer help when you can—you never know when you might need it. Be compassionate, mindful, and generous. Treat others the way you’d hope to be treated.

May God comfort those who mourn today. May He bring healing to the broken, peace to the suffering, and hope to the weary. In Jesus’ Name, may all who are in distress hear His soothing voice and be lifted up.

May His holy name be praised, now and forever!