Tag Archives: Love

My First Rays of Sunshine: a Sacred Promise to my dad!

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“For You have delivered my soul from death, my eyes from tears, and my feet from falling. I will walk before the Lord, in the land of the living.” Psalm 116: 8-9

My First Loves, my Children, my Treasure, my Crown before God! Alice, Jean Eric, Noella and me. Christmas 2021

It must have been sometime in September, or maybe October, I am not entirely sure. Please bear with me as I try to relive the darkest period of my life. Allow me to tell you the horror of my childhood, almost three decades later, as a 13-year old, holding my chin up high, with hope rising. The genocide against the Tutsi in Rwanda had just ended a few months earlier, by Rwandans who lived as refugees in exile. They had been denied to return to their home country, with the excuse that it was full. These refugees, formed a grass-roots army, the Rwanda Patriotic Front or RPF. The RPF came fighting without sophisticated artillery, armed with the love and dedication to liberate their beloved country and save any Tutsi who still had breath in them.

I lived with my paternal aunt at the time, whom I miraculously met at the same refugee shelter, Kigali International Airport, where RPF soldiers gathered survivors behind the enemy line. I think it was the end of May or beginning of June.

With my beautiful sisters Alice and Noella; I call them my babies. December 2021

Our airport living quarters were empty cargo shipping containers located right across from the airport hangar. Downtown Kigali, twenty minutes or less north of us, was still an active combat between RPF soldiers and the Rwandan Army Forces who planned and executed the genocide. Some of the refugees were the survivors of the worst atrocities of the 20th century, dehumanized for just being born with certain physical features. This unimaginable cruelty would later be recognized as genocide too little too late.

My aunt and her two toddlers under age three had been hidden by her Hutu neighbor in Remera, just minutes from this airport. (Her husband, my uncle, had been on a business trip out of country before all this started).

As far as I was concerned, before bumping into my aunt, I was the only living soul left in my family and the world that surrounded me. Meeting my aunt was a small glimmer of hope, a connection to a forgotten happy past. I was grateful to see someone familiar and thankful she asked me to live with her, whatever that meant, since everything we held dear was gone.

My nephew Adley and niece Abiella (they’re cousins). I call them my grand-babies. Three years apart but still best friends!

On July 4th, 1994, the country was liberated by the RPF. Victory, we had a sense of hope. Soon after, we were allowed to return to homes, or whatever was left that resembled our lives.

Fast forward a few months later, I believe it was September or October, when my aunt’s friend came to visit in Remera. As soon as he saw me, he said there were two small boys from my family living in an orphanage in the next town, Ndera. I couldn’t believe my ears! Two boys? We initially had two boys and four girls in my family, and my older brother had been killed along with my mother. Besides, there was no way he could be called little, standing at 6 feet tall at fifteen years old.

When we were separated the April before, I left my little brother and two sisters. If there were siblings at the orphanage, I wondered which of the three was not there. My young mind was trying to make sense of it all. Now there was a possibility I still had two siblings. I might not be the only one who survived. I couldn’t believe it. It was a lot to process!

My (not-so-little-anymore) bro Jean Eric and the love of his life Redempta

I honestly don’t recall how I arrived where my siblings were at the time. I probably walked since there was no public transportation in place yet. Then the most life-changing moment arrived. I saw my siblings! And the greatest part was, there were not two, but all three. Memories flooded back to that April 24th day, that life and death defining moment and the last time I saw them. We had just been informed my older brother, Jean Felix, was being held by the Hutu militiamen. My mom, cousin, and I rushed to see Jean Felix. When we arrived at the “crime scene”, which sat at the mouth of a mass grave, our physical features must have given us away. The killing squad leader asked my mom where she had been hiding for that long and if she had any other kids not with us.

For reasons I don’t know today, rather than lying, my mother told the truth. She perhaps thought that we wouldn’t be able to survive on our own, or she was ready to see the Lord. I will never know.

My greatest life’s accomplishment, my three siblings!

I was immediately given an armed soldier as an escort and sent to bring my three younger siblings from hiding, instead of my brother Jean Felix who was believed to be a flight risk. For whatever reason that I still don’t understand, this soldier decided to leave my younger siblings in their hiding place. Moreover, rather than taking me back where my mother, brother and cousin were being held, he took me somewhere else. Sparing you details for now, I am alive today to tell the story because of his decision. This same soldier knew my mom, brother, and cousin were dead and how they had been executed.

I have so many questions that I won’t have answers for in this life. Ironically, I owe my ability to tell this story to this same soldier. Whatever he did or didn’t do, he spared my life.

Holding my newest niece/granddaughter (three month-old Kaylee Schiloh)

Five or six months later, after that horror, I stood in shock unable to believe my eyes at the sight of my siblings. They were so malnourished that I could understand why someone would think my two sisters were boys.

I may have intentionally blurred a lot that happened before and after, such as the fact that my youngest sister didn’t recognize me. While that and so many broken memories shattered my heart, this encounter remains the most treasured moment of my life. From that very moment, I found my life purpose. My survival finally had a meaning!

Adley holding Abiella. Best friends ♥️♥️

Now, what about the Sacred Promise I gave the title of this post?

Sometime after I had found my surviving siblings, I had an incredibly vivid dream. In it was my father, Alphonse, looking as handsome as ever in a white robe. You cannot believe my shock thinking how I had been applying for documents that would exempt me from paying school fees because I was an orphan. Yet, there stood my father looking at me with a big smile. The dream ended with me making a promise to him, that I would love and take care of his surviving children as he would have done himself. When I awoke, I felt like I had met an angel and I felt my father’s presence.

My handsome daddy (in early 1980s)

April 7th, 2022 begins the twenty-eighth commemoration of the genocide against the Tutsi in Rwanda. Today, I can humbly divulge that keeping this promise remains the most important accomplishment of my life. And if this is the only success I will ever achieve in this life, I will call myself the luckiest person on God’s earth. Before my God who Has my parents and two siblings with Him, I have unconditionally loved my three younger siblings as my own children, and their children as my grandkids. With every fiber of my being, and breath I take, I will keep my sacred vow to my dad in that dream late 1994 for as long as I shall live.

With my best friend, the love of my life

There’s nothing in this life that I cannot do for my siblings I call my children; God is my witness. Their happiness fills my heart with joy and gratitude before God! I love them more than life itself. I am immensely grateful to our Father God Who has been everything we ever need. He provided, protected and carried my siblings and I through the darkest and trying times of our lives. He truly is the Father to the fatherless!

I am married to my best friend, my partner in righteousness, who’s not only understanding of what my siblings and I endured at a young age, but also supportive of my keeping the sacred promise I made to my father in that dream! When Jesus will come with the clouds and all eyes will see Him, before the heavenly congregation, I will tell my dear parents that I had kept my vow to them and our God!

I found hope, faith and purpose amidst great loss!

Rising Above the Storms: 2012 – Now

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Our new t-shirt & mask with a new logo, at Our Center in Rwanda, setting up new laptops. Dec 2021

How do I even begin? It has been a little over 9 years since the idea of starting a nonprofit first came to me. I remember it as if it were yesterday. I lived in North Carolina at the time, and had been at Cisco for less than 2 years. I remember pondering over names that I felt would fit the mission of the work I had on my mind: how do I use my personal story to encourage & be a blessing to others? The name “Rising Above the Storms (RAS)” was born.

However, I also understood that doing this nonprofit thing meant entering some uncharted waters; for example the vulnerability that might come with sharing a personal tragic story to strangers I may never meet in person. In tandem, I also launched this personal blog, initially called a Soothing Voice, and later changed to Beauty for Ashes (Isaiah 61:3).

The early days of RAS were unequivocally slow, rightfully so. Albeit, 9 years down the road, I can safely say that I didn’t fully grasp the burden of launching a nonprofit while early on my career as a female engineer, with zero leadership experience. While it might sound cliché, all I was armed with was a vision and a passion. And 9+ years later, I am still as passionate, and more hopeful.

Our merchandise at the Cisco Store

While I mostly winged it, there’s one thing I fully understood from the beginning: I absolutely had no budget to spend upfront. I couldn’t afford a lawyer to help with putting together our ByLaws, Articles of Incorporation and file them with the State. For that reason, I decided to take my sweet time with everything. I built our first website from scratch, got approved by the State of North Carolina and opened a bank account, all by myself.

The next step, if I had to start receiving donations, it was critical that I get the public charity status with the Internal Revenue Services first. The application was probably the most challenging part of the process with the amount of information it required. This time, a friend helped me! However, struggling to understand differences, Rising Above the Storms was first approved as a Private Foundation in 2016. This meant that we couldn’t solicit donations; immediately, I had to file for an amendment and shortly after we were a public charity the same year and ready to rock and roll 😀

Speaking at our Gala in September 2016 in Raleigh, NC

The upside to all this is that you learn so much when you do everything from scratch; while this post’s intention isn’t to share the wisdom and lessons learned, but if I had to write one thing now it would be this: if you start a nonprofit, alone, with no funds to do the preliminary work, it might be wise NOT to combine it with a full time, demanding job. Although I have to say that I love the idea of having a career so that all funds for RAS go directly to where they need to be. Another mistake I made early on was my inability to discern talents I needed due lack of time or luxury to be selective when it came to volunteers. Consequently, I’ve had to rely on friends who absolutely cared for my vision, but didn’t necessarily have the skill I needed to advance my mission. Being at the mercy of whoever is willing to give it a try is not a good feeling!

Our team showing off our new t-shirts and new logo

Please don’t get me wrong; I am eternally indebted to everyone who had served as a guinea pig at the beginning of this journey. It definitely shaped the way we do things today and helped us get us started. But if I could do it over again, there are things I would do differently. I’d just have a concrete business plan before embarking in this incredible journey. Because I sure didn’t have one in place.

We navigated from small fundraiser events, to a successful gala to a canceled one to building a solid Board and team of volunteers. Surprisingly, 2020 was our best year yet in terms of fundraising. It’s been a game changer to watch how much can be done when you are surrounded by people who are both talented and equally passionate about the vision and mission of an organization. Everyone starts from somewhere.

Our partnership with Amahoro (Peace Builders) that launched a Learning Center in January 2017 with 11 children found on the streets in Rwanda keeps growing, with most children joined in the past 1.5 years, which unfortunately is a consequence of the pandemic. Most children are boys, ranging between 12-16 years old. Numbers go up and down but the majority of children have remained consistent. Today, we have over 50 children who attend on regular basis. Also, as of November 2021, we launched a year-long partnership with Westcon-Comstor Subsaharan Africa to expand our Computer Lab, sponsor 10 children, as well as building a longterm strategy for a lasting impact on the children through mentorship.

Our kids using computers and new desks made possible by our partnership with Westcon-Comstor Subsaharan Africa

Finally, in 2021, we launched a new logo, gear, and a new website. Through an anonymous donor, we shipped items worth over US$10k to Rwanda from the US worth that includes soccer gear, school material, shoes and clothes for the kids.

Here is a good chart we did in the fall of 2021. Number of kids go up and down at any given time!

All in all, we have come along way, as an organization, me personally and our kids in Rwanda. But we still have a long way to go. Like a lot of organizations and companies, the vision evolves. We’ve had to shift focus from time to time. An example was my assumption on how education would look like for our youth. I figured they all would be like me: go from high school, to college and grad school and professional career. This couldn’t be far from the reality on the ground: as you see from the stats above, more than a half of our kids’ grades don’t even hit 50%. It was eye opening for me.

The truth is that education for some of them will perhaps look different; while ideally we want everyone to finish high school at minimum, we watch very closely and monitor their progress. Our focus will shift to trade careers and job skills training to prepare them for the job market. Only a handful may make it to a traditional university. In fact, our very first high school – university bound candidate Idrissa – graduated last year. He’s interested in mechanical engineering. I look forward to seeing wonderful things he will do for himself, his family and community.

With Idrissa (our first college bound graduate), with his two siblings (Amina & Hussein). They all have been part of our Rwanda program since the beginning, January 2017). Picture taken in Dec 2021

In the end, the important thing is that they gain experience or learn a skill that will better their lives and those around them. I am eternally grateful to everyone who has contributed from small to great thing to Rising Above the Storms. I have met and I am blessed to be surrounded by many generous people who have made RAS a possibility. They are too many to number for sure.

It would be a very remiss not to mention one person in particular: my adopted mother Glori who’s a gift from heaven (check out this post I wrote about her). When I first shared with her about my vision to start RAS, she immediately gave me a donation check. I chuckle about it because back then I was not ready to accept donations. However, her reasoning was that eventually I’d get to put it to a good use. The first few deposits to our RAS checking account, in a few thousands of dollars, have all been from her. She believed in me even before I believed in myself. To say that my new parents have changed my life is an understatement.

So many people to thank who have poured into RAS with their expertise, time and finances. If I wrote each one, it’d be pages and pages. But let me just say that they are appreciated more than they will ever know. I pray for God’s blessings for each one!

2021 Christmas Celebration. Pictured above are the top performers in their class this past year

Will you join us today in this incredible journey? You can change a kid’s life. There are many ways you can join our journey:

I am so thankful to everyone who contributes to making my dream of being a blessing to the most vulnerable youth come true. I look forward to 2022 with hope and anticipation!
God bless!

Reblog: In A Garden of Fame Where Their Treasured Memories Grow Fonder: 23 years later!

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Resharing a blogpost I wrote 3 years ago:

Source: In A Garden of Fame Where Their Treasured Memories Grow Fonder: Two Decades Later!

Lighting candles in memory of our Loved Ones who were taken away from us so soon!

An Important Reminder for Stressful Moments: “Be still, and know that I am GOD” ~ Psalm 46:10

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Posing for a photo shortly before our gala. Sept 2016

It has been a busy few months, or year for that matter. What a journey! Since January of this year, I have traveled to more than 20 US states (many of them first time), dozens of cities, and three European countries (mostly for business), as well as working 50-80 hours a week on average for my full-time job. If that was not enough, add planning, thinking, worrying, coordinating, and struggling to keep up with what it takes to coordinate our very first annual gala, on top of being the founder of a startup nonprofit.

Let me first start telling you a little bit about me: I am a female engineer; I speak English as a third language. I am terrified by asking people for money, even if its sole purpose is to help orphans out of hopelessness and enable them to dream.

I am not eloquent by any means; I am a nervous wreck before speaking to a large audience. I don’t know how to talk to people I just met. A group of strangers terrifies me, even if they are all friendly. I grew up in a third world country and moved here later in life, but certain aspects of the American culture still puzzle me a decade later!

I dislike conflicts; I don’t like it when someone is mad at me! I can’t keep up when humor revolves around the art of slangs, cursing or sarcasm. I have never met anyone in the same situation as me: running a nonprofit with another full time, technical job. Oh, and I have zero talent!

Well by this time, if you are still reading this, you are wondering, “Why is she saying all this?” I have a point, I promise! Now, if you can tie it back to everything I lack or my busy life, you may wonder why anyone like this would want to start a nonprofit. Well, that makes two of us. I have a secret though! This one may make you think over everything that makes you doubt yourself.

My friends and I performing a traditional Rwandan dance at our gala. Sept 2016.

I lost my parents at the age 13. Though I was absolutely alone and left to fend off myself at that young age, I encountered someone who became my hope in trials, my refuge in time of trouble, my comfort in sorrow, my counselor in hopelessness, my provision when no one cared, a father to the orphan, a friend in need. That is Jesus, my Savior and King, my God!

You see, all these things I lack, and many more I didn’t want to bore you with, He’s taken upon Himself. Before God, I am warrior, victorious, loved, a daughter of the Most High. I am able to do everything through Jesus who strengthens me. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is what keeps me pressing on in spite of my lack of experience in nonprofit management and many other things in life.

So, circling back to my nonprofit: YES, it was very stressful to combine my schedule and responsibilities as I got pulled in many directions. It still is and I often wonder what I got myself into. However, a constant reminder as I navigated a busy schedule this year has been a reassuring voice telling me to be still and know that God will be glorified as David quoted in Psalm 46:10 NKJV.

This is what kept me calm even when people and promises fell through and schedules didn’t align with our planning needs and requirements. After all, this vision is God’s work; I don’t really need to worry, as long as He is on my side. Obviously, He doesn’t need my skills or experience. All He wants is my obedience!

I have been fortunate enough to understand my life calling, the reason God spared my life from the machetes and bullets of 1994 in Rwanda. I may not accomplish much in this life, but as God has been to me, so I will be to others. Today, I can afford anything I need, and my siblings feel the same way. God has been everything we ever need, up to this very minute as I type this. My prayer and hope is to be God’s hands and feet through loving and being a blessing for those who have not been as fortunate.

Matthew 25:34-36 (NKJV) gives me a glimpse of how things will look on the judgement day, when God will impartially judge all the nations. This long chapter is wrapped in the true meaning of LOVE. Also, Paul said it well: although all these three are excellent: faith, hope and love, but the greatest of them is LOVE.

rasgala214

Sharing my story and our vision at our gala. Sept 2016!

Through God’s LOVE that spoke the earth into existence, I hope to spend the rest of my life striving to learn and practice what it means to love everyone unconditionally regardless of who they are or their life choices: race, religion, color, sex, age, national origin or ancestry etc.

I am really thankful that our first annual gala was a success, and we are currently almost halfway to our final goal in terms of raising funds for our first learning center in Rwanda to benefit street children and at-risk-youth. God has been great to me, and blessed me with a great team of volunteers who are very passionate about my vision and cause.

Will you join forces with me to share this hope, advocate for orphans, and empower the most vulnerable children through education? I am eternally thankful that the Lord would entrust me with this great mission! I still cannot believe that He picked ME!! Rising Above the Storms (RAS) is not a work I feel burdened to do, it is simply my life story, and a soul that has been truly satisfied & touched by God’s Mercy!

Re-Blog: [When God Re-Booted Creation]

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” Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.” James 1:27

I wanted to re-blog this article {and I hope Pastor J.D Greear & his team don’t mind) that points out what the Kingdom of God is about and shows important facts that most of us often miss out. In the end, it’s not how eloquent one is at quoting Biblical verses or religiously righteous as much as it is for how our love and actions should put the LOVE of Jesus on display! This is my opinion but Matthew says it so well too: Matthew 25: 34-40

47115-ExcellentQuotations.com-Mother-Teresa

© Mother Teresa Quotes

Enjoy the reading..

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I have one solution for every computer problem I encounter. Reboot it. And if that doesn’t work, reboot it again. The worst moment in my technological existence comes when I’ve rebooted four or fives times and the problem is still there—because then I know it’s going to be a long, painful process on the phone…

http://www.jdgreear.com/my_weblog/2016/03/when-god-re-booted-creation.html

“Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted” ~ Mathew 5: 4

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“And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.”~ Revelations 21:4

It’s almost February and April is around the corner. Oh how I anxiously wait for this month all year around! Why is April a big deal? Because it will be the 22nd anniversary of the 1994 genocide against the Tutsi in Rwanda, in which I lost my beloved parents and 2 of my siblings. Unfortunately, although a lot has happened since then, it  still feels like it was yesterday to me!

Though I still grieve for them with a deep sorrow and always will, however, I have encountered someone who has deeply touched my shattered heart with a mighty healing power and gave me a reason to rejoice forever: my Lord and King Jesus! He has turned my mourning into dancing! Therefore, I grieve with hope!

That’s my prayer for anyone who has lost someone close, especially tragically. I know how you feel!

“Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep” ~ Romans 12:15

My Dearly Beloved Parents

My Dearly Beloved Parents

Today, I am again reminded that life is extremely short and that tomorrow is NOT guaranteed! I knew that already, but my weary heart needs a constant reminder. This evening, I learned of a death of someone so young and full of life. This young man was a newlywed to an extremely beautiful young woman who is a close friend to my family in Rwanda.

He died of a motorcycle accident, the most popular means of public transportation in Rwanda, besides buses. Quite frankly, a cruel fact may be that those commercial motorcycles probably claim more lives than any other cause of death in Rwanda.

I weep so deep with this very young widow. My heart breaks for her, her family and many whose loved ones have been taken away so suddenly. This life begs more questions than answers unfortunately. You may have many examples. My prayer is that the whole world will come to know how much God loves us despite our circumstances. That’s very important.

You see, the Bible tells me that one day, God will make everything new, and wipe away all our tears. Our mourning will be no more. This gives me hope! And that we will see again all those who died in the Lord, in the new life that knows no sorrow.

There, hatred, discrimination, accidents, killings, injustice, tragedies, natural disasters, diseases, illness, hunger, wars, all will lose battle. Love & peace will be victorious and eternal life will be our song forever!

“Then I heard a voice from heaven saying to me,“Write: ‘Blessed are the dead who die in the Lord from now on.“Yes,” says the Spirit, “that they may rest from their labors, and their works follow them.” ~ Revelations 14:13

Father God, I pray that You’ll comfort all those who are grieving & hurting. You alone are their Strength, Shield and Salvation. You are capable of consoling them even when the outpouring sympathy & support is not enough. Will You send them Peace, surround them with Your unfailing Love and Kindness! Will You be their only Joy, Hope and Refuge! Now and always!

In Jesus name! Amen!

“And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.”~ Revelations 21:4

“Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love.” ~Mother Teresa

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“Then the righteous will answer Him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry and feed You, or thirsty and give You drink? When did we see You a stranger and take You in, or naked and clothe You? Or when did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?’ And the King will answer and say to them, ‘Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me.” Mathew 25:37-40

You may have read one of the famous Bible verses on love in the book of the first Corinthians chapter 13: “Love is patient, love is kind” etc. There are a few lessons I recently learned from it that challenged and convicted me. I plan to share some details in a separate post. For now, I will simply say that I am naturally sensitive and passionate, which can be good and bad. However, I will try to focus on the good part for now.

I cannot stand injustice. It hurts so much when people are not being fair. I don’t like when bad things happen to good people. I cry when I see cruelty against innocent people. I weep in front of my TV, computer or out in the open when I see homeless children who live off of the dumpster and in the streets, homeless grownups against their will, poor and hungry people. It is heartbreaking to see people who once had it all together and wars/tragedies suddenly turn their lives upside down, into refugees, homeless, helpless and starving. Life is so unpredictable.

On Tuesday this week, a woman that I have always looked up to and admired for her courage as long as I have known her, surprised me with the news I was not expecting to hear. I was already aware that she has lost her job several months ago and had been unsuccessful to obtain another one, but I had no idea as to what extent she was struggling. I wept as I read line by line. I was very sadden by the fact that she may lose her home, a home she built by herself, along with raising her young children after she lost her husband during the 1994 Rwandan genocide against the minority Tutsi group in her late 20s.

Rwanda

Rwanda

My heart was torn. I was at loss for words! I haven’t cried so much in a while like I did as she explained it to me over the phone. As I felt sorry for myself for being so weak and hopeless, I remembered how Jesus felt when He arrived at His friend’s house, Lazarus. As many people gathered and mourned for Lazarus who died 3 days earlier, Jesus wept, too! (John 11:35).

The Son of God wept, NOT because He was helpless like I was or often am in situations like this. In fact, His main purpose there after His intentional 3-day delay, was to raise Lazarus from the dead and glorify His Father! Jesus was moved by the pain and weeping around Him because of Lazarus. I remembered that very moment that Jesus understood my pain and indeed cared for my friend more than I did. Although I still wish I was super rich to be able give to my friend all the amount she needs, I know that a little bit can go a long way.

I launched a GoFundMe campaign for my friend Rose. I accepted that I may not be able to raise all the money that she needs at the moment, or that I may be surprised. Either way, I am being obedient, and trusting the Lord for His provision and compassion for His children. I have not really done any other fundraising campaign, and I absolutely hate asking money from people. Nonetheless, I also believe in God’s miracles and the way He uses His own people!

Please click here to join my campaign: Help a Rwandan genocide against the Tutsi Survivor Widow!

I cannot change the world; in fact, God knows that I am incapable of even changing a single soul. However, I am determined to do something small whenever I get an opportunity. And then, I want to leave the rest to God who is capable of answering prayers and being everything to those in need!

God bless you

“Pure and undefiled religion before God and the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their trouble, and to keep oneself unspotted from the world.” James 1:27

The Art of Trust: Our Assurance!

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“Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, and whose hope is the Lord. For he shall be like a tree planted by the waters, which spreads out its roots by the river, and will not fear when heat comes; but its leaf will be green, and will not be anxious in the year of drought, nor will cease from yielding fruit.” Jeremiah 17:7-8

Sometimes, when I share my experience during the 1994 Rwandan genocide against the Tutsi and its aftermath, my audience often asks me what I struggled the most with after the loss I endured. I have talked about the pain of watching my siblings especially my youngest sister Mireille who doesn’t recall much about our childhood or our loved ones we lost during the genocide against the minority Tutsi ethnic group in Rwanda. This truly breaks my heart. I also talk about how God enabled me to forgive my family members’ killers. However, there is something else I don’t say often.

Trust2

Trusting people does not come to me easily. As I talk more about my personal life, my failures and fears, although I must admit that it has been both challenging and thrilling, it has certainly helped me with healing and forgiving. I am very thankful for another chance I have been given to life and the great opportunity to be able to share my story with all kinds of people. It may help someone. However, I still struggle to trust people.

It’s still painful to grasp that neighbors who spoke the same language, whose children we attended the same school and played together, worshiped at the same mass every Sunday, would murder their fellow neighbors, people who meant the world to me. It hurts so badly to feel abandoned by relatives when you’re young and need them the most. It changes everything when love is taken away from you at a very young age and people who should care don’t feel empathy toward your horrifying circumstances.

It absolutely hurts when a friend you trust so much lets you down or people you rely on are not there when you need them the most. It is disappointing when you share a personal struggle with someone but they don’t take it seriously. It hurts when you have expectations for certain people and trust them but they turn their back on you when you need them. It is heartbreaking when a religious leader you look up to turns out to be your worst nightmare.The list goes on..

trust

The truth is that, people will probably let you down. Unfortunately some people change and we often make wrong choices. We are human beings and the devil takes advantage of our weaknesses. But also, Timothy explains what is to come:

“But understand this, that in the last days, there will come times of difficulty. For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people” 2 Timothy 3:1-5

Nonetheless, you’re not meant to place your trust in your friends; there is not a single person in this world who is perfect. On the contrary, you are called to love everyone unconditionally and put your TRUST in GOD alone. He is the only one who will NOT: disappoint you, let you down, turn his back on you, forget about you, leave you as orphan, irritate you, or delay.

You can trust that God understands your pain better than anyone else and that He will come to your rescue. Even though people may not be there for you, God will never let you down! You can trust Him fully and fix your eyes on Him! When you feel all alone and disappointed, remember that you are not into this alone. You can trust God with all your life!

Although it is a great weakness of mine to open up and trust easily, God Has been patient with me. He Has enabled me to trust Him completely first and foremost, and to forgive when people I am able to trust let me down. His Grace has also been overflowing through seeking forgiveness when I am not there for those who need me the most. Thank God for His wonderful promises we have been given:

“Can a woman forget her nursing child, and not have compassion on the son of her womb? Surely they may forget, Yet I will not forget you. See, I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands; Your walls are continually before Me.” Isaiah 49: 15-16

“Those who trust in the Lord are like Mount Zion, which cannot be moved, but abides forever.” Psalm 125:1

“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow you.
When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, nor shall the flame scorch you. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior”. Isaiah 43: 2-3

“It’s not how much we give but how much love we put into giving.” ~ Mother Teresa

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“In all things I have shown you that by working hard in this way we must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he himself said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.” Acts 20:35

Sometime during my graduate studies at RIT in NY, a friend of mine asked me to help translate for a teenage girl that had been hospitalized but didn’t speak English. This girl fluently spoke one of the languages I understood from one of the East African countries. Her and I immediately connected and later, I was invited to their house to meet the rest of her family.

On my first visit, I was shocked to see how much preparation and trouble they went through to make it look like nothing close to a  simple gathering. It was like a royal dinner, composed of food varieties from East Africa to represent a feast that was apparently prepared for me: beef stew, plantains, homemade French fries, rice mixed with various spices, vegetables and many more. I didn’t know what to say. I normally have a disappointing appetite but this certainly did the trick.

As months went by and I visited the family again, it was exactly like the first time I was there. Since then, I figured that I should not tell them ahead of time that I was coming, after all we are Africans. Back home, you can simply show up unannounced! Even with short notice, they would distract me while I chatted with others, unaware that they were cooking. I couldn’t believe how generous they were.

An East African dish. So delicious!

Truth to be told, I can tell that this family barely makes their living on possibly minimum wages. How do I know? Because of their employment type. It is also interesting that they always have a house full of people, literally; some of them are relatives while some others are just strangers they shelter until they can get on their feet.

If I didn’t know what they did for a living, I would just have assumed that they were rich. In fact, this girl who is my connection to them is not even their biological child. They actually met her somewhere along the way in Africa, and took her in because she had no family or anyone else to raise her. Personally, I am always amazed by how positive they are about life. They love God, others and they are hopeful people. Their home is always open to everyone.

Watching their way of life challenged me: how can someone like them be so generous, loving and positive when they live on minimum wages with a house full of people? Each time I speak to the wife, she quotes the Bible a lot and encourages me with Jesus’ promises and hope that is found in following him. I’m always amazed by her love for God even when I can easily see that the family struggles to make ends meet!

This family reminds me of the story of the widow’s offering where Jesus commented on her offering which was two small copper coins while rich people poured gifts in the offering box. Jesus saw that the widow has put way more than all of them because rich people gave out of their abundance but the poor widow contributed out of her poverty and put in all she had to live on. It is a challenging example that we often ignore!

A Rwandan Cabbage Salad. I made this one by myself🙂

A famous Bible verse about the way of love in 1 Corinthians 13 raises a very important question about generosity.

 “If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.”

Does this mean  that people can indeed give without love? The answer is possibly. Generosity works hand in hand with love. If they are separated it’s like faith without work. When this dawned on me, I desperately asked God to fill me with love first!

Honestly, it’s not always easy to be generous, especially with money and time. In fact, it is a human nature to be inclined to give or help people that we know well or care for. Of course it’s very important to ensure that your donations go to credible recipients but we sometime cling on it that we often forget that our giving shouldn’t necessarily be dictated by how grateful or recognizing our recipients are.

Also, for those who give often wonder how much is enough to give!

But I have learned that it’s not about the amount, but the heart of the giver. And that it is much more blessed to give than to receive.

I don’t know about you but I often want to hold onto what I have with excuses that I don’t have enough or that I have to enjoy the fruits of my hard work after all. Nothing is wrong with that, but after I was reminded that “it is blessed to give than to receive“, it changed the way I approached giving, loving people and generosity.

I have been praying and asking God to make me like the man that David cites in Psalm 112. Verse 5 states: “It is well with the man who deals generously and lends“, and verse 9: “He has distributed freely; he has given to the poor.”

I want to love and be generous to everyone God brings my way, and not expect anything in return. I am not the one to judge the character and be selective on whom to be generous to or not. I will leave it to God who will judge all the nations and reward everyone according to their work in this life. God is love and He sees everything. Everything I do is between me and Him, people easily forget!

“You have not lived today until you have done something for someone who can never repay you.’ ~ John Bunyan

The Covenant of Love!

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“For the mountains may depart and the hills be removed, but my steadfast love shall not depart from you, and my covenant of peace shall not be removed,” says the Lord, who has compassion on you. Isaiah 54: 10

I absolutely adore these words and forever thank God for His unending love and amazing grace. In fact, the whole chapter 54 of the book of Isaiah is filled with God’s outstanding promises to His people. As some may think, God is not a burning fire or an angry dictator who records our wrongdoing that we have to work hard to gain his trust, mercy and approval!! In contrary, He is absolutely a tender Father, a matchless friend, Redeemer, Healer, Defender, Lord Almighty, the God of Love.

It’s no secret that I deeply love my three siblings that I call my children.  If you have visited this page more than once, I am sure you have met them through the pages of my articles. I often write about just their amazing lives that have changed mine forever, but today specifically I wanted to share what my little sister told me a while back when I shared with her yet another healing miracle in my life.

Sharing God's Wonders

Sharing about God’s Wonders to His people. June 2014

After being diagnosed with an illness that puzzled my doctors a while back, I surrendered my life to God and believed that everything happens for a reason. Because I was devastated beyond imagination, I shared this with only one friend who prayed unceasingly with me, and left it to God. Three years later, the final test results showed that doctors have been somehow wrong all along, that I have been misdiagnosed.

To say that I rejoiced to the news is simply an understatement! The rest of my life is not just long enough to live for and praise God Who has not only redeemed my heart and soul, but also cares about every detail of my body and well being.

After the test results, I could no longer keep it to myself. As I shared the best news ever with my little sister who knew nothing about this along with the rest of my siblings, she broke into tears and said to me:

“As I pray everyday, I call out to the GOD of Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Jesus and Alphonsine”.

Then it was my turn to weep, that someone, especially my little sister would look up to the God she has seen manifesting in my life, and put my name on an incredible list like this. THERE IS NO GREATER HONOR in this life! I often ponder on that ever since, especially when I feel down. She may have forgotten this, but it’s eternally knitted to my heart.

If you know me personally and don’t know that I have been obsessed with the song God I look to you for couple of years now, you still don’t know me well :).  If you see me with headsets listening to music, feel free to joke about it. Who listens to the same song over and over again for years??

So, as Jenn Johnson sings: “Hallelujah OUR God reigns, ….”, I tag along, ignoring my vocal cords that cannot simply put notes together even if my life depended on it and echo: “Hallelujah MY GOD (or Father or DAD) reigns, forever all my days Hallelujah”.

As I lift my hands up high in worship, I don’t care what people around me may think, if they do. I give the highest praises not just to the God in the Bible or a Pastor or someone else told me about. I humble myself and bow to the King of kings who calls me an oak of righteousness, a planting for His glory, He who bestows the crown of beauty for ashes, MY GOD and KING!

Re-posting one of my articles below:

Many many years apart. It looks like I haven't changed much!

1996 & 2013. Have I changed much?

I hope that you learn: to trust God on your own, enough to not doubt Him when someone who led you to Christ messes up or lets you down. To know God on your own that your happiness doesn’t revolve around what other people say or think about you. To completely depend on Him that when your church or fellow believers don’t turn out to be what they claim to be, you don’t become a victim. 
To trust God enough to know that when everything else falls apart, that His covenant of love and peace shall remain. To comprehend that there is a High Priest in Heaven whose name is love and has made an end to our shame, and that your name is engraved on his heart.
The song of every heart, the hope of every nation: God Who created the heavens and earth and everything in it, is My God, Father and Friend, all my days!

May you learn to trust Him on your own and be confident enough to call Him YOUR God and Father. Without further ado, head over to This Is Hope: God Is REAL. I hope and pray that you will be encouraged by the God who has simply captured my heart and won my attention, all my life!