Tag Archives: Love

“Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love.” ~Mother Teresa

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“Then the righteous will answer Him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry and feed You, or thirsty and give You drink? When did we see You a stranger and take You in, or naked and clothe You? Or when did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?’ And the King will answer and say to them, ‘Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me.” Mathew 25:37-40

You may have read one of the famous Bible verses on love in the book of the first Corinthians chapter 13: “Love is patient, love is kind” etc. There are a few lessons I recently learned from it that challenged and convicted me. I plan to share some details in a separate post. For now, I will simply say that I am naturally sensitive and passionate, which can be good and bad. However, I will try to focus on the good part for now.

I cannot stand injustice. It hurts so much when people are not being fair. I don’t like when bad things happen to good people. I cry when I see cruelty against innocent people. I weep in front of my TV, computer or out in the open when I see homeless children who live off of the dumpster and in the streets, homeless grownups against their will, poor and hungry people. It is heartbreaking to see people who once had it all together and wars/tragedies suddenly turn their lives upside down, into refugees, homeless, helpless and starving. Life is so unpredictable.

On Tuesday this week, a woman that I have always looked up to and admired for her courage as long as I have known her, surprised me with the news I was not expecting to hear. I was already aware that she has lost her job several months ago and had been unsuccessful to obtain another one, but I had no idea as to what extent she was struggling. I wept as I read line by line. I was very sadden by the fact that she may lose her home, a home she built by herself, along with raising her young children after she lost her husband during the 1994 Rwandan genocide against the minority Tutsi group in her late 20s.

RwandaRwanda

My heart was torn. I was at loss for words! I haven’t cried so much in a while like I did as she explained it to me over the phone. As I felt sorry for myself for being so weak and hopeless, I remembered how Jesus felt when He arrived at His friend’s house, Lazarus. As many people gathered and mourned for Lazarus who died 3 days earlier, Jesus wept, too! (John 11:35).

The Son of God wept, NOT because He was helpless like I was or often am in situations like this. In fact, His main purpose there after His intentional 3-day delay, was to raise Lazarus from the dead and glorify His Father! Jesus was moved by the pain and weeping around Him because of Lazarus. I remembered that very moment that Jesus understood my pain and indeed cared for my friend more than I did. Although I still wish I was super rich to be able give to my friend all the amount she needs, I know that a little bit can go a long way.

I launched a campaign for my friend Rose. I accepted that I may not be able to raise all the money that she needs at the moment, or that I may be surprised. Either way, I am being obedient, and trusting the Lord for His provision and compassion for His children. I have not really done any other fundraising campaign, and I absolutely hate asking money from people. Nonetheless, I also believe in God’s miracles and the way He uses His own people!

Please click here to join my campaign: Help a Rwandan genocide against the Tutsi Survivor Widow!

I cannot change the world; in fact, God knows that I am incapable of even changing a single soul. However, I am determined to do something small whenever I get an opportunity. And then, I want to leave the rest to God who is capable of answering prayers and being everything to those in need!

God bless you

“Pure and undefiled religion before God and the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their trouble, and to keep oneself unspotted from the world.” James 1:27

The Art of Trust: Our Assurance!

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“Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, and whose hope is the Lord. For he shall be like a tree planted by the waters, which spreads out its roots by the river, and will not fear when heat comes; but its leaf will be green, and will not be anxious in the year of drought, nor will cease from yielding fruit.” Jeremiah 17:7-8

Sometimes, when I share my experience during the 1994 Rwandan genocide against the Tutsi and its aftermath, my audience often asks me what I struggled the most with after the loss I endured. I have talked about the pain of watching my siblings especially my youngest sister Mireille who doesn’t recall much about our childhood or our loved ones we lost during the genocide against the minority Tutsi ethnic group in Rwanda. This truly breaks my heart. I also talk about how God enabled me to forgive my family members’ killers. However, there is something else I don’t say often.

Trust2

Trusting people does not come to me easily. As I talk more about my personal life, my failures and fears, although I must admit that it has been both challenging and thrilling, it has certainly helped me with healing and forgiving. I am very thankful for another chance I have been given to life and the great opportunity to be able to share my story with all kinds of people. It may help someone. However, I still struggle to trust people.

It’s still painful to grasp that neighbors who spoke the same language, whose children we attended the same school and played together, worshiped at the same mass every Sunday, would murder their fellow neighbors, people who meant the world to me. It hurts so badly to feel abandoned by relatives when you’re young and need them the most. It changes everything when love is taken away from you at a very young age and people who should care don’t feel empathy toward your horrifying circumstances.

It absolutely hurts when a friend you trust so much lets you down or people you rely on are not there when you need them the most. It is disappointing when you share a personal struggle with someone but they don’t take it seriously. It hurts when you have expectations for certain people and trust them but they turn their back on you when you need them. It is heartbreaking when a religious leader you look up to turns out to be your worst nightmare.The list goes on..

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The truth is that, people will probably let you down. Unfortunately some people change and we often make wrong choices. We are human beings and the devil takes advantage of our weaknesses. But also, Timothy explains what is to come:

“But understand this, that in the last days, there will come times of difficulty. For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people” 2 Timothy 3:1-5

Nonetheless, you’re not meant to place your trust in your friends; there is not a single person in this world who is perfect. On the contrary, you are called to love everyone unconditionally and put your TRUST in GOD alone. He is the only one who will NOT: disappoint you, let you down, turn his back on you, forget about you, leave you as orphan, irritate you, or delay.

You can trust that God understands your pain better than anyone else and that He will come to your rescue. Even though people may not be there for you, God will never let you down! You can trust Him fully and fix your eyes on Him! When you feel all alone and disappointed, remember that you are not into this alone. You can trust God with all your life!

Although it is a great weakness of mine to open up and trust easily, God Has been patient with me. He Has enabled me to trust Him completely first and foremost, and to forgive when people I am able to trust let me down. His Grace has also been overflowing through seeking forgiveness when I am not there for those who need me the most. Thank God for His wonderful promises we have been given:

“Can a woman forget her nursing child, and not have compassion on the son of her womb? Surely they may forget, Yet I will not forget you. See, I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands; Your walls are continually before Me.” Isaiah 49: 15-16

“Those who trust in the Lord are like Mount Zion, which cannot be moved, but abides forever.” Psalm 125:1

“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow you.
When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, nor shall the flame scorch you. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior”. Isaiah 43: 2-3

“It’s not how much we give but how much love we put into giving.” ~ Mother Teresa

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“In all things I have shown you that by working hard in this way we must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he himself said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.” Acts 20:35

Sometime during my graduate studies at RIT in NY, a friend of mine asked me to help translate for a teenage girl that had been hospitalized but didn’t speak English. This girl fluently spoke one of the languages I understood from one of the East African countries. Her and I immediately connected and later, I was invited to their house to meet the rest of her family.

On my first visit, I was shocked to see how much preparation and trouble they went through to make it look like nothing close to a  simple gathering. It was like a royal dinner, composed of food varieties from East Africa to represent a feast that was apparently prepared for me: beef stew, plantains, homemade French fries, rice mixed with various spices, vegetables and many more. I didn’t know what to say. I normally have a disappointing appetite but this certainly did the trick.

As months went by and I visited the family again, it was exactly like the first time I was there. Since then, I figured that I should not tell them ahead of time that I was coming, after all we are Africans. Back home, you can simply show up unannounced! Even with short notice, they would distract me while I chatted with others, unaware that they were cooking. I couldn’t believe how generous they were.

An East African dish. So delicious!

Truth to be told, I can tell that this family barely makes their living on possibly minimum wages. How do I know? Because of their employment type. It is also interesting that they always have a house full of people, literally; some of them are relatives while some others are just strangers they shelter until they can get on their feet.

If I didn’t know what they did for a living, I would just have assumed that they were rich. In fact, this girl who is my connection to them is not even their biological child. They actually met her somewhere along the way in Africa, and took her in because she had no family or anyone else to raise her. Personally, I am always amazed by how positive they are about life. They love God, others and they are hopeful people. Their home is always open to everyone.

Watching their way of life challenged me: how can someone like them be so generous, loving and positive when they live on minimum wages with a house full of people? Each time I speak to the wife, she quotes the Bible a lot and encourages me with Jesus’ promises and hope that is found in following him. I’m always amazed by her love for God even when I can easily see that the family struggles to make ends meet!

This family reminds me of the story of the widow’s offering where Jesus commented on her offering which was two small copper coins while rich people poured gifts in the offering box. Jesus saw that the widow has put way more than all of them because rich people gave out of their abundance but the poor widow contributed out of her poverty and put in all she had to live on. It is a challenging example that we often ignore!

A Rwandan Cabbage Salad. I made this one by myself🙂

A famous Bible verse about the way of love in 1 Corinthians 13 raises a very important question about generosity.

 “If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.”

Does this mean  that people can indeed give without love? The answer is possibly. Generosity works hand in hand with love. If they are separated it’s like faith without work. When this dawned on me, I desperately asked God to fill me with love first!

Honestly, it’s not always easy to be generous, especially with money and time. In fact, it is a human nature to be inclined to give or help people that we know well or care for. Of course it’s very important to ensure that your donations go to credible recipients but we sometime cling on it that we often forget that our giving shouldn’t necessarily be dictated by how grateful or recognizing our recipients are.

Also, for those who give often wonder how much is enough to give!

But I have learned that it’s not about the amount, but the heart of the giver. And that it is much more blessed to give than to receive.

I don’t know about you but I often want to hold onto what I have with excuses that I don’t have enough or that I have to enjoy the fruits of my hard work after all. Nothing is wrong with that, but after I was reminded that “it is blessed to give than to receive“, it changed the way I approached giving, loving people and generosity.

I have been praying and asking God to make me like the man that David cites in Psalm 112. Verse 5 states: “It is well with the man who deals generously and lends“, and verse 9: “He has distributed freely; he has given to the poor.”

I want to love and be generous to everyone God brings my way, and not expect anything in return. I am not the one to judge the character and be selective on whom to be generous to or not. I will leave it to God who will judge all the nations and reward everyone according to their work in this life. God is love and He sees everything. Everything I do is between me and Him, people easily forget!

“You have not lived today until you have done something for someone who can never repay you.’ ~ John Bunyan

The Covenant of Love!

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“For the mountains may depart and the hills be removed, but my steadfast love shall not depart from you, and my covenant of peace shall not be removed,” says the Lord, who has compassion on you. Isaiah 54: 10

I absolutely adore these words and forever thank God for His unending love and amazing grace. In fact, the whole chapter 54 of the book of Isaiah is filled with God’s outstanding promises to His people. As some may think, God is not a burning fire or an angry dictator who records our wrongdoing that we have to work hard to gain his trust, mercy and approval!! In contrary, He is absolutely a tender Father, a matchless friend, Redeemer, Healer, Defender, Lord Almighty, the God of Love.

It’s no secret that I deeply love my three siblings that I call my children.  If you have visited this page more than once, I am sure you have met them through the pages of my articles. I often write about just their amazing lives that have changed mine forever, but today specifically I wanted to share what my little sister told me a while back when I shared with her yet another healing miracle in my life.

Sharing God's Wonders

Sharing about God’s Wonders to His people. June 2014

After being diagnosed with an illness that puzzled my doctors a while back, I surrendered my life to God and believed that everything happens for a reason. Because I was devastated beyond imagination, I shared this with only one friend who prayed unceasingly with me, and left it to God. Three years later, the final test results showed that doctors have been somehow wrong all along, that I have been misdiagnosed.

To say that I rejoiced to the news is simply an understatement! The rest of my life is not just long enough to live for and praise God Who has not only redeemed my heart and soul, but also cares about every detail of my body and well being.

After the test results, I could no longer keep it to myself. As I shared the best news ever with my little sister who knew nothing about this along with the rest of my siblings, she broke into tears and said to me:

“As I pray everyday, I call out to the GOD of Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Jesus and Alphonsine”.

Then it was my turn to weep, that someone, especially my little sister would look up to the God she has seen manifesting in my life, and put my name on an incredible list like this. THERE IS NO GREATER HONOR in this life! I often ponder on that ever since, especially when I feel down. She may have forgotten this, but it’s eternally knitted to my heart.

If you know me personally and don’t know that I have been obsessed with the song God I look to you for couple of years now, you still don’t know me well :).  If you see me with headsets listening to music, feel free to joke about it. Who listens to the same song over and over again for years??

So, as Jenn Johnson sings: “Hallelujah OUR God reigns, ….”, I tag along, ignoring my vocal cords that cannot simply put notes together even if my life depended on it and echo: “Hallelujah MY GOD (or Father or DAD) reigns, forever all my days Hallelujah”.

As I lift my hands up high in worship, I don’t care what people around me may think, if they do. I give the highest praises not just to the God in the Bible or a Pastor or someone else told me about. I humble myself and bow to the King of kings who calls me an oak of righteousness, a planting for His glory, He who bestows the crown of beauty for ashes, MY GOD and KING!

Re-posting one of my articles below:

Many many years apart. It looks like I haven't changed much!

1996 & 2013. Have I changed much?

I hope that you learn: to trust God on your own, enough to not doubt Him when someone who led you to Christ messes up or lets you down. To know God on your own that your happiness doesn’t revolve around what other people say or think about you. To completely depend on Him that when your church or fellow believers don’t turn out to be what they claim to be, you don’t become a victim. 
To trust God enough to know that when everything else falls apart, that His covenant of love and peace shall remain. To comprehend that there is a High Priest in Heaven whose name is love and has made an end to our shame, and that your name is engraved on his heart.
The song of every heart, the hope of every nation: God Who created the heavens and earth and everything in it, is My God, Father and Friend, all my days!

May you learn to trust Him on your own and be confident enough to call Him YOUR God and Father. Without further ado, head over to This Is Hope: God Is REAL. I hope and pray that you will be encouraged by the God who has simply captured my heart and won my attention, all my life!

In A Garden of Fame Where Their Treasured Memories Grow Fonder: Two Decades Later!

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***

It’s hard to believe it’s been twenty years since you left us. The world simply hasn’t been the same without your presence — your beauty, your love, your light.

It still feels like yesterday,
when life was whole — a joyful family of eight, wrapped in your love and safety.

The pain of your absence never fades.
Not a day goes by without thoughts of you.
Though you’re no longer with us in body,
your memory lives — richly, eternally — in our hearts.

I believe God loved you so deeply that He called all four of you to His side.
But if I could ask Him for just one impossible gift,
it would be this:

To give me wings.
To soar to where you are.
To hold you tight,
to say “I love you,”
and never let go.

Until that eternal day, I remain under the shelter of God’s wings.
One day, death will lose its power, our tears will be wiped away,
and our hearts will be whole again — forever.

A Treasured Garden of Fame!

***

My dearest little sister, Marie Claudine “Magnifique” — you were an angel in life, and you left this world like one

Magnifique2014

It still breaks my heart to know you were among the very first taken
in our village when the Genocide against the Tutsi began that Thursday morning.
What could you have possibly done to deserve such cruelty?

I’m grateful I had the chance to say goodbye —
to see you one last time, your arms folded as if in prayer,
even as blood marked the violence that silenced you.
The image haunts me,
but I cling to the truth that God loved you far more than I ever could.

You left this world like an angel,
and I imagine heaven welcomed you with open arms that very morning —
Thursday, April 7th.
I marvel at the celebration held in your honor,
and I smile through tears knowing you were cherished.

One day, you’ll tell me all about it.
And when my time here is complete —
the very life that was spared this same month, twenty years ago —
I’ll catch you up on everything you’ve missed.

Until then,
I’ll carry your memory and love with me… always.
I will love you — forever.

***

Papa, you left too soon, but the confidence you placed in me as a little girl still carries me forward.

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I vividly remember the day you surrendered your final breath — Sunday afternoon, April 17th.
That was the day we overheard the Hutu Interahamwe boasting that they had cut you into three pieces, and that they were hunting for us — Mom and the five children — to finish us all.

How could anyone on this earth harm you?

You may have been tortured in the flesh, but I know your sweet soul is safe with the God you taught us to pray to.
Do you remember how your face lit up whenever I did well in school?
I know you would have been proud to see me finish all the way to graduate school, land my dream job, and build a life in a faraway country that has become my new home.
Can you believe you weren’t here to celebrate with me?

I miss you every day.
But Jesus — my Savior and King — stands in your place and Mom’s.
He comforts me when I am afraid, He cheers when I succeed, and He still loves me when I fail.

Late 1994, I had a dream where I promised you:
That I would love your surviving children as you would have, had you lived.
I am humbled to say that I have kept that promise.
Whatever I have, I have shared with them.
And as long as I have breath, they will never lack for anything.

When Jesus returns in glory, and all the nations stand before Him, I will not be ashamed.
The Holy Spirit Himself is my witness.
And I know you, Mama, Marie Claudine, and Jean Felix will be among the great cloud of witnesses there.

There is so much I want to tell you — but for now, I trust God to fill you in.

I miss you, Papa.
But I am strong because of the foundation you laid, and the God you taught me to worship.
P.S. — Thank you and Mama for giving me the name Alphonsine — “warrior.”
You named me well. You prepared me for the battles ahead.

Rest in heavenly peace, Papa.
I will love you eternally.

***

Dear Mama, when I think back to our final moments together, I’m reminded of how you always stood for the truth — even when it cost you everything.

Colette_2014

As we waited by the mass grave for our death sentence that Sunday afternoon, April 24th, I remember how the blood-shedders asked if you had more children elsewhere, so they could hunt them down too.
You didn’t lie. You stood in truth — ready to walk into God’s heaven.

I remember pleading with the killers — begging them not to harm you before I came back, when they assigned a soldier to escort me — not to protect me, but to make sure I wouldn’t escape — as I went to bring Eric, Alice, and Noella.
Those desperate words were my final conversation with you.
And yet, by a miracle I can never explain, all three of them — and I — survived.

Today, I am their mother.
I love them more than anything in this life, and I do everything I think you and Papa would have done for us.
They — and God — are my witnesses.

Oh, how I wish you could see them now!
They’re all grown, beautiful, and extraordinary.
Eric and Alice will finish their Master’s degrees this year, and Noella, your last born, is completing college.
They are the greatest gifts I have ever received.

And there’s more:
Eric is marrying the love of his life later this year — a woman so incredible you would have adored her too.
God and I will take care of every detail in their wedding.
It breaks my heart that you and Papa won’t be there to see it.

Noella barely remembers your faces, but that’s okay. She has me now.
And as long as I live, she will be cherished, spoiled, and protected — this I promise you and Papa forever.

Mama, did God tell you that He blessed me with another mother here on earth?
She may not look like you, but she loves and nurtures me just as you did — almost as if you had sent her yourself.

I have so many amazing friends now, in a land far from our homeland.
They make me feel loved, and special.
I know you would be so proud.

Even though I only had you for a few short years, your love was pure, fierce, and unforgettable.
I still hear your voice when I am sick, feel your comfort when I am overwhelmed, and remember how you spoiled me with a love that asked for nothing in return.

There’s so much more I want to tell you — but I will save it for when we meet again in heaven.

I will love you forever, Mama.
Always.

***

My dear big brother Jean Felix, I’ll never forget how you stood as my protector at school — tall and strong, making sure no one dared come near

Nkeke2014

I’m so sorry that my last memory of you is one of suffering.
I wish I had been stronger — strong enough to stop the Hutu Interahamwe who beat you with sharp wires, while blood poured down your beautiful face.
That moment is burned into my heart.

Whenever I watch The Passion of the Christ, I’m reminded of you.
Just like Jesus, you were brutally beaten though you had done nothing wrong. And when I see His face — broken, bleeding, innocent — I see yours.

But I know, with absolute certainty, that on Sunday afternoon, April 24th, Jesus welcomed you and Mama into His beautiful heaven.
You belonged there far more than in this world of pain and injustice.

Those memories are hard to carry, but they also give me courage.
Knowing you’re no longer suffering brings me comfort and strength to keep going.

I know well that I will see you again — with Mama, Papa, and Magnifique — when I finish the work you all began, and fulfill the mission God entrusted to me.
That’s why He didn’t take me with you that day, okay? He had more for me to do.

Rest in God’s eternal peace.
I miss you every single day.
I will love you, all my days.

***

Jean Eric, Alice, Alphonsine, Mireille Noella

Eric, Alice, Alphonsine, Mireille Noella. 03/10/2014

Dear Loved Ones,

Eric, Alice, Noella, and I — twenty years later — still carry your memory as vividly as ever. Your love continues to water our spirits daily, etched into the pillars of our hearts. You are our heroes, and we hold fast to your words, your example, and your pride.

As we mark this twentieth commemoration of your lives taken too soon, we choose again to forgive those who killed you simply for how you looked, something you never bargained for at birth.

We pray your killers find God and repent, but if not, they will stand before the Redeemer and the Defender of the Fatherless. Justice is His alone. He will repay.

Your legacy lives on in us. We are stronger because of you, and everything we do is to make you proud.
We miss you deeply, but we know that you now dwell in the place where souls like yours belong — in peace, in glory, in heaven.

We will finish what you began.
You are alive in our hearts for as long as we live.
We will love you — forever and always.

Rising From Ashes: Beyond Broken Memories!

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“Lord, I have treasured your word in my heart, that I may not sin against You”  Psalm 119:11

Growing up in a joyful, loving family with the most devoted parents a child could hope for, nothing could have ever warned me—or prepared me—for the horror that would soon unfold.

For those unfamiliar with my story, I was in 7th grade when Rwanda was plunged into one of the most devastating atrocities of the 20th century: the Genocide against the Tutsi. In just over three months, more than a million Tutsis were brutally killed—including my parents, two of my siblings, relatives, friends, neighbors, and fellow citizens.

9th Grader

Me, sometime between 1995 and 1996

Before the nightmare could end, everything felt surreal—almost beyond comprehension. I was completely alone and abandoned. The first person to offer me shelter was my uncle’s wife, whom we encountered in a refugee camp in the heart of the capital during an evacuation.

After the genocide against the Tutsi ended, I had no idea that what awaited me was not refuge, but exploitation. My aunt had effectively found a nanny for her two young children.

Months later, unaware that I had survived, my mother’s youngest sister, Beata, saw me on my way home from school. Upon learning of my living conditions, she quietly took me into her home. Beata worked for the government, and her husband held a position with the United Nations—on the surface, a promising new beginning. But what I hoped would be a place of healing quickly turned into yet another chapter of hardship.

Despite their resources, my basic needs were neglected. I was denied essentials like sanitary pads, and only received clothing and shoes when Beata no longer had use for them—after she had indulged herself in expensive outfits. Behind the walls of their mansion, I endured relentless emotional abuse. I wasn’t treated like family—I was treated like a burden.

As I tried to adapt and remain grateful for a roof over my head, the atmosphere grew increasingly hostile. Beata, perhaps threatened by my presence as I came of age, became controlling and cold. I was no longer allowed to eat with the family or speak freely. Even the few clothes I owned were closely monitored. Eventually, I was confined to my room, kept out of sight, and falsely accused of stealing money, all while being tasked with carrying heavy groceries alone—despite the family owning a car.

Then, one day, Beata told me to leave. I didn’t know what crime I had committed—only that my presence was no longer tolerated. As I stepped into the unknown, I began a long, painful journey toward healing. For years, I struggled to believe that not all married women were cruel. I entered college while navigating deep darkness, often relying on the kindness of strangers for a place to sleep. I came dangerously close to calling the streets my home—or worse, compromising myself just to survive.

August 2012

Me, August 2012

Despite the unimaginable losses and hardships I endured, I graduated among the top of my class with a Bachelor’s degree in Engineering and secured a full-time job just days before graduation. Three months later, I received a full scholarship to pursue a Master’s degree in Engineering in the United States. In time, I was offered my dream job.

By God’s grace, I was also able to support my three younger siblings—Eric, Alice, and Mireille—through school. All of them, who were under 10 during the genocide against the Tutsi, were on track to complete their university degrees by 2014.

I owe every blessing in my life to God, the Father to the fatherless, who never left my side—even in the darkest moments. He sustained me, lifted me, and gave me the strength to forgive and move forward.

I am deeply thankful for:

  • His unconditional love and grace that empowered me to forgive those who hurt me, including those who took my family and those who failed me when I needed them most.
  • My siblings, who are my greatest joy and lifelong responsibility. They are my sunshine and purpose.
  • A new home in a faraway land, where love and healing replaced fear and loneliness. I am forever grateful to my adoptive parents, whose words—“You will always have a home here”—are etched in my heart.
  • A fulfilling career and a company I love working for.
  • The Summit Church family, where my faith continues to grow.
  • Friends who have walked this journey with me—across continents and cultures—filling my life with encouragement and joy.
  • Opportunities to speak and share my testimony, and to be featured in blogs and journals by amazing women like Kimberly Kaye Harms and Felicia Alvarez.
  • Pastor J.D. Greear and his family, whose love, support, and hospitality have been a blessing beyond words.
  • Andy Rogers of RBC/Discovery House Publishers, who is working to include part of my story in Our Daily Bread.

Looking back, I am in awe of how far I’ve come. I don’t know what the future holds, but I know Who holds it. My heart is open, and my answer to God remains: “Yes!” May He continue to use me to bring hope to the hurting, the homeless, the orphaned, and the forgotten—because I’ve been there too.

Don’t let past pain define you. Overcome evil with good. As I look ahead to the future with hope and expectation, I pray that 2014 and beyond brings you peace, joy, and purpose.

God is not “Fair”. He is JUST!

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By definition, being fair means being free from bias, dishonesty, or injustice. A fair decision, a fair judge—something done properly under the rules. When we receive what we rightly deserve in a good way, we call it fairness. Ideally, systems of justice should be fair.

But God is not “fair”—at least not by human standards. Fairness, as we define it, is shaped by our perspective, not His. Take Psalm 103:10 (NKJV): “He has not dealt with us according to our sins, nor punished us according to our iniquities.” That’s not fairness—it’s mercy. And if you keep reading through verse 14, mercy, not fairness, becomes the focus.

If God was fair in the way we expect, tragedies wouldn’t happen. He doesn’t cause them, yet He allows them. And yes, He has the power to stop them. But we often try to make sense of pain through our human lens of what is “right” or “fair”—which doesn’t always align with God’s greater purpose.

Consider these examples:

The tornado that devastated Moore, Oklahoma was heartbreaking. The emotional reunions of parents and their children who survived the destruction of two elementary schools were moving. Meanwhile, other families waited in anguish for news of loved ones—some with devastating outcomes.

Or the collapsing garment factory in Bangladesh, where workers earning meager wages died as the death toll rose by the minute—an unfathomable loss.

Then there’s the 2010 earthquake in Haiti that reduced its capital Port-au-Prince to rubble. More than 200,000 lives were lost, and the nation suffered immense, lasting damage. I vividly remember waiting to hear if my dear grad school friend, Katarina, her husband, and their infant son had survived. By God’s grace, they did, though they lost everything they owned in Port-au-Prince. Their survival still feels miraculous.

And of course, the 1994 genocide against the Tutsi in Rwanda—one of the most horrific atrocities of the 20th century. In just 100 days, over a million Tutsi were killed. Roméo Dallaire, the Canadian UN Force Commander at the time, shared his firsthand account in “Shake Hands with the Devil“—a book I strongly recommend.

These are only a few examples. Sadly, tragedies continue even as I write this. Most often, the victims have nothing to do with the cause of their suffering. But the point is not to measure who has suffered the most or who deserves the most attention. It’s about what we learn in the aftermath—and how we find God’s power and presence in the middle of the storm.

To our human minds, it feels deeply unfair when innocent people suffer, when children die, or when bad things happen to good people while bad people thrive. In those moments, we cry out, “Where is God?” In Rwanda, many later echoed the haunting belief that the “God of Rwanda” went silent starting April 7, 1994.

Sometimes, we even try to rewrite God’s plans: “If only God had been there…” But we’re not alone in that thinking. When Jesus arrived after Lazarus had died, Martha said, “Lord, if You had been here, my brother would not have died.” (John 11:21). Yet Jesus came not just to heal—but to raise Lazarus, so that God’s glory would be revealed. A healing would have been amazing. But resurrection? That was undeniable.

The truth is, every person—no matter how composed they may seem—faces their own struggles. We all experience hardship, but the good news is found in 1 Corinthians 10:13: “No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.”

So no, God is not “fair” by our limited standards—but He is Just. He is omnipresent, omnipotent, and omniscient. It’s not that people or places are cursed and “deserve” tragedy. As Matthew 5:45 reminds us, “For He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.”

God is our Healer, Counselor, Father to the fatherless—overflowing with mercy and grace. But His schedule, His wisdom, His judgment—none of it is reasonable by our terms. His ways are not our ways. His thoughts are far above our thoughts. You can’t advise Him or question His will. He does all things according to His purpose—on earth as in heaven.

God does not cause earthquakes, hurricanes, or tornadoes—but He is there in the midst of them. And when we hear the stories of those who survive against all odds, we know it’s not by their strength—but by His grace.

So trust Him—even when the world falls apart. You are safe in His arms.

Mourn with those who mourn. Rejoice with those who rejoice. Cherish every day. Offer help when you can—you never know when you might need it. Be compassionate, mindful, and generous. Treat others the way you’d hope to be treated.

May God comfort those who mourn today. May He bring healing to the broken, peace to the suffering, and hope to the weary. In Jesus’ Name, may all who are in distress hear His soothing voice and be lifted up.

May His holy name be praised, now and forever!

A Forgiving Heart

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Forgiveness is one of the most difficult yet powerful choices we can make. It asks us to let go of hurt, pride, and the desire for revenge—to respond with kindness where we’ve been wronged, and to move forward without resentment. That kind of grace doesn’t come easily. It requires strength, humility, and often, deep faith.

As I reflected on forgiveness, I turned to one of my greatest sources of inspiration—the Bible. Time and again, Scripture presents extraordinary examples of individuals who chose forgiveness, even in the face of betrayal, injustice, and suffering.

One story that stands out is that of David.

Though anointed by God, David spent years fleeing for his life from King Saul, who was jealous and intent on killing him. David had more than one opportunity to take revenge, yet he chose restraint. In 1 Samuel 26, we see David and Abishai come upon Saul asleep in his camp. Abishai urges David to kill him, but David refuses, saying, “Do not destroy him, for who can put out his hand against the Lord’s anointed and be guiltless?” (1 Samuel 26:9). Instead of vengeance, David chose honor and trust in God’s justice.

Then there’s Stephen.

As he preached with wisdom and power, he faced false accusations, was seized, and eventually stoned to death. Yet, as he was dying, his final words were, “Lord, do not hold this sin against them” (Acts 7:60). Even as stones rained down upon him, Stephen extended forgiveness to those who took his life.

And, of course, there is Jesus.

As He hung on the cross, suffering a brutal and unjust death, He looked at those who mocked and crucified Him and said, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34). This is the ultimate example of mercy and love in the face of cruelty.

These stories speak deeply to the heart, especially in a world filled with injustice. We see so much pain today—racism, discrimination, lies, abuse of power, violence, and hatred. Watching the news can be overwhelming. It’s easy to feel helpless or angry in the face of so much wrong.

Paul, in his letter to Timothy, warned of such times:
“In the last days there will come times of difficulty. For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive… heartless, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good… having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power” (2 Timothy 3:1-5).

Still, we’re called to a higher standard.

So I ask:

  • Would I want to be treated with dignity, even when I fall short?
  • When someone hurts me, do I long for them to see the pain they caused and make it right?
  • How do I want others to respond to my needs and humanity?
  • Can I offer that same grace to others?

David, Stephen, and Jesus weren’t weak. Their forgiveness was an act of strength rooted in trust—trust that God sees, knows, and will judge with justice. When we choose to forgive, we’re not saying the wrong didn’t matter; we’re saying we believe in a God who will make all things right.

So if today, you were given the chance to avenge someone who deeply wronged you—would you choose forgiveness instead?

It’s not easy. But imagine how different the world would be if we all treated others the way we wish to be treated. Forgiveness is not forgetting—it’s faith in action.